Artikel Motivasi- Kerajinan Membawa Kejayaan - Harwork leads to Success

Kerajinan Membawa Kejayaan

Kerajinan adalah sangat penting dalam kehidupan kita. Kerajinan dikatakan adalah sesuatu yang tidak dapat dikecualikan dalam kehidupan kita. Kerajinan boleh diertikan sebagai usaha yang berterusan penuh dengan semangat , ketekunan, kecekalan, kegigihan, dedikasi dan budaya maju dalam melakukan sesuatu perkara.   Dengan adanya sifat kerajinan, seseorang akan mudah untuk mendapat kejayaan. Jika kita ingin mendapatkan kejayaan, kita haruslah rajin.  Oleh itu , kerajinan adalah berkaitan rapat dengan kejayaan. 

Sifat rajin berusaha itu perlu disemai dalam diri  setiap insan sedari kecil lagi. Ini dapat dibuktikan dari golongan-golongan yang berada dalam kalangan kita. Lihatlah guru-guru di hadapan kita, mereka adalah golongan yang rajin berusaha menimba ilmu dan pengetahuan dan akhirnya mereka  berjaya menjadi guru yang berjaya dan berdedikasi. Tanpa kerajinan, mereka tidak akan berjaya menjadi seorang guru. Tidak mungkin ada seorang boleh mendapat kejayaan tanpa rajin dan berusaha. Setiap kejayaan adalah datang daripada usaha dan kerajinan seseorang. 

Selain itu, sifat-sifat para perniaga juga boleh dicontohi. Para perniaga memulakan perniagaan mereka secara kecil-kecilan. Dengan sifat yang rajin dan berusaha semasa menjalankan perniagaan mereka, akhirnya mereka berjaya menjadi usahawan yang berjaya. Dengan itu, mereka akan mendapat keuntungan yang lebih tinggi jika dibandingkan dengan mereka yang malas. Mereka juga berpeluang mengembangkan perniagaan mereka sehingga ke peringkat  antarabangsa dengan adanya modal sampingan daripada keuntungan yang mereka dapatkan. Dengan usaha yang gigih, mereka boleh mencapai kejayaan. Mereka boleh mendapat keuntungan yang mereka inginkan dan dengan itu taraf hidup mereka dapat ditingkatkan.

Sebagai seorang pelajar pula, kita perlu berusaha mencari ilmu untuk bekalan hidup. Pelajar yang berjaya perlu dicontohi seperti  bagaimana mereka berusaha untuk   mencapai kejayaan. Ini dapat dibuktikan dengan contoh-contoh daripada kawan saya. Kawan saya merupakan seorang pelajar  yang bijak tetapi agak pemalas. Dia tidak pernah mengulangkaji sebelum menduduki  peperiksaan. Walaupun dia lulus  dalam peperiksaan  STPM. Tetapi dia gagal menempatkan diri ke universiti yang dia inginkan kerana keputusannya yang hanya sekadar cukup-cukup makan itu. Sebagai contoh adik saya pula  adalah seorang yang rajin. Dia sentiasa mengulangkaji  dan membuat kerja sekolah yang diberi sebaik sahaja pulang dari sekolah. dia tidak menangguhkan kerja yang diberikan oleh guru dan sentiasa melakukan ulangkaji.  Oleh itu. Dia mendapat keputusan yang cemerlang dalam STPM dan mendapat universiti yang dia inginkan.

Kesimpulannya,  tidak rugi jika kita sentiasa berusaha dan rajin belajar. Setiap insan yang rajin akan mendapat segala yang mereka inginkan. Oleh itu, dapatlah dikatakan sebenarnya kejayaan tidak akan datang bergolek tanpa melakukan usaha yang bersungguh-sungguh.Setelah kita berjaya, kita akan dipandang tinggi dan mulia oleh masyarakat. Sifat rajin perlu disemai didalam diri setiap insan untuk mencapai kejayaan yang diingini. 
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Hard work is very important in our lives. Hard work said is something that cannot be excluded in our lives. Crafts can be construed as a continuing effort full of passion, persistence, perseverance, hard work, dedication and advanced culture of doing things. With the nature of craft, a person would be easy to get success. If we want to get success, we must be diligent. Thus, the hard work is closely related to success.

Nature of the necessary hard work to inculcate within every individual since childhood. This can be proved from the groups that are among us. Look at teachers in front of us, they are people who work hard to gain knowledge and wisdom, and eventually they became successful and dedicated teachers. Without diligence, they would not be able to become a teacher. There can be no one can get success without hard and trying. Every success is coming from the business and craft a


In addition, the properties of the business can also be emulated. The business they started the business on a small scale. By the nature of the hard and trying time running their business, they finally managed to become a successful entrepreneur. As such, they will have higher profits compared to those who are lazy. They also have the opportunity to expand their business internationally by the side of the capital gains they earn. With persistent efforts, they can achieve success. They can get benefits they want and that their lives can be improved.

As a student, we must strive to seek knowledge for the supply of life. Students who need to be emulated, such as how they strive for success. This can be proved by examples from my friend. My friend is a student who is intelligent but rather lazy. He never revises before taking the examination. Although he passed the STPM examination. But he failed to put them into the university because he wants a decision is simply just enough to eat it. For example, my brother was most diligent. He was always studying and making the school work given immediately after coming home from school. He did not suspend work provided by teachers and always do revision. So, He got excellent results in STPM and get the university he wanted.

In conclusion, no loss if we keep trying and hard studying. Every human being hardworking will get everything they want. Therefore, it can be said to be true success will not come without doing serious business. Once we succeed, we will be highly regarded and revered by the public. Nature should be diligent in sowing every individual to achieve the desired success

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Artikel Motivasi- Kelebihan Bersabar The advantages of Patience

    Sabar bermaksud sentiasa menahan diri daripada dipengaruhi sesuatu yang tidak baik. Sebagai contoh rasa marah, hasad dengki dan sebagainya.

Sifat sabar ini juga boleh membawa kepada kebaikan dan mempunyai banyak kelebihan.  Antara kelebihan bersabar ialah dapat mengawal diri daripada sifat marah, mendapat keredhaan Allah S.W.T dan memperoleh ketenangan jiwa.

    Orang yang bersabar sentiasa dapat mengawal diri daripada dipengaruhi perasan marah. Kesabaran amat penting terutamanya apabila seseorang itu mempunyai sikap marah yang tinggi. Jika kita sentiasa bersabar, kita akan berjaya mengawal diri daripada meluahkan rasa marah dan tidak puas hati kepada orang lain. Sekaligus dapat memelihara hubungan kita dengan orang lain. Sikap ini sentiasa dituntut dalam Islam.

    Kita juga akan mendapat keredhaan daripada Allah S.W.T sekiranya kita sentiasa bersabar. Hal ini kerana, Allah amat mengasihi hambanya yang sentiasa bersabar. Kita tidak akan mendapat sebarang kerugian sekiranya kita sentiasa bersabar. Malahan kita akan dirahmati Allah S.W.T dan sentiasa dipandang mulia disisiNya.

    Selain itu, kita juga akan memperoleh ketenangan jiwa jika kita sentiasa bersabar. Hal ini kerana, jika kita bersabar kita tidak akan terburu-buru dalam melakukan sesuatu. Kita akan melakukan perkara tersebut dengan lebih berhati-hati. Keadaan ini akan mewujudkan rasa tenang dan aman tanpa rasa tertekan. Sebagai contoh, jika kita bersabar dalam melakukan pekerjaan, kita akan mendapat kejayaan hasil daripada sikap sabar yang dipupuk.

    Kesimpulannya, sikap sabar membawa banyak kebaikan kepada kita. Tidak salah sekiranya kita sentiasa mengamalkan sikap ini dalam kehidupan harian kita. Hal ini kerana, Allah S.W.T sentiasa meberikan hambanya manfaat yang besar lagi luas dan sentiasa berpanjangan dari dunia hingga akhirat. Kita
juga akan mendapar keberkatan hidup sekiranya kita sentiasa mengamalkan sikap ini.

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    Patience means always refrain from something that is not affected either. For example, anger, jealousy and so forth. The nature of this patient may also lead to good and has many advantages. Among the advantages of patient is able to control ourselves from anger, to please Allah SWT and get peace of mind.

    People who are patient, always able to control myself from feeling angry affected. Patience is very important, especially when a person has high angry. If we have patience, we will be able to control themselves from expressing their anger and dissatisfaction to others. At the same time to maintain our relationships with others. This attitude is always required in Islam.

    We also get the pleasure of Allah SWT if we keep patience. This is because, Allah loves the servant who was always patient. We will not have any losses if we keep patience. In fact we will be blessed and God has always seen noble side.

    In addition, we also get peace of mind if we have patience. This is because, if we persevere we will not rush to do something. We will do these things more carefully. This situation will create a sense of calm and peace without feeling pressured. For example, if we persevere in doing the job, we will have succeeded because of the attitudes fostered patience.

    In conclusion, long-suffering brought many benefits to us. It is not wrong if we keep practicing this behavior in our daily lives. This is because God is always giving his servants a great benefit of the vast and ever lasting out of the world to the hereafter. We also get the blessings of life if we keep practicing this behavior.

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Artikel Motivasi - Keburukan dan Kelebihan Kemewahan - Advantages and Disadvantages of Wealth

Keburukan dan Kelebihan Kemewahan

Kemewahan bermaksud kehidupan yang sentiasa dilengkapi dengan kekayaan. Sebagai contoh, mempunyai pangkat, harta dan kehidupan yang baik.

Terdapat banyak kelebihan jika seseorang hidup dalam kemewahan seperti boleh membantu orang yang memerlukan, membuat amal dan sebagainya. Namun begitu, terdapat juga keburukan jika kita hidup dalam kemewahan. Antaranya ialah, kita akan menjadi sombong dan angkuh. Kita juga akan lupa untuk melakukan
kebaikan di dunia.

Antara kebaikan hidup dalam kemewahan ialah kita boleh membantu orang yang memerlukan. Sebagai contoh, membantu fakir miskin dengan memberikan makanan dan pakaian kepada mereka.  Kita akan mendapat ganjaran daripada kebaikan yang kita lakukan. Kita juga akan disenangi oleh orang disekeliling
kita. Dengan bantuan dan amal yang kita lakukan, kehidupan kita juga akan lebih tenang dan gembira.

Namun begitu, kehidupan yang mewah juga membawa kepada keburukan. Antaranya ialah kita akan berasa bangga dengan apa yang kita ada berbanding dengan orang lain. Keadaan ini akan mewujudkan sikap riak dalam kehidupan kita. Sikap menunjuk-nunjuk juga akan timbul hasil daripada kemewahan yang kita perolehi.
Keadaan ini akan mengakibatkan hubungan kita dengan orang lain akan menjadi renggang.

Selain itu, dengan kemewahan yang ada juga akan menyebabkan seseorang itu lupa untuk melakukan amal. Hal ini kerana, ornag itu akan sentiasa menggunakan kemewahan yang ada untuk membeli dan berbelanja ke jalan yang salah, sekaligus menyebabkan berlakunya pembaziran kewangan. Keadaan ini juga akan meyebabkan wujudnya sikap sombong dan tidak menghormati orang lain.

Kesimpulannya, kemewahan yang berlebihan membawa banyak keburukan berbanding kebaikan.  Sebaiknya kita perlulah hidup dalam kesederhanaan supaya kita tidak lupa untuk melakukan kebaikan bukan sahaja kepada diri dan keluarga malahan kepada orang sekeliling kita. Oleh itu, kita perlulah sentiasa memastikan diri kita tidak hanyut dengan kemewahan yang kita ada supaya kita dapat memperoleh kebahagiaan bukan sahaja di dunia malahan di akhirat kelak.

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Title: Advantages and Disadvantages Wealth

Luxury living means that ever comes to wealth. For example, a rank, wealth and good life. There are many advantages if one can live in luxury, such as helping people in need, to charities and so forth. However, there are also disadvantages if we are living in luxury. Among these are, we will become proud and arrogant. We also will forget to do good in the world.

Among the advantages of living in luxury is that we can help those in need. For example, help the poor by providing food and clothing to them. We will get a reward of goodness that we do. We will also be liked by those around us. With the help and charity that we do, our lives will be more relaxed and happy.

However, the life of luxury as well as lead to disadvantages. Among them is that we will feel proud of what we are doing compared with others.

This situation will create ripples in the attitude of our lives. Showy attitude will also arise as a result of the luxuries that we have. This situation will result in our relations with others will be cold.

In addition, there are things of which would cause a person to forget to do good. This is because, the battle that will continue to use the wealth to buy and spend on the wrong road, thus causing financial wastage. This will result in a cocky attitude and no respect for other people.

In conclusion, the excessive luxury of bringing more harm than good. Should we have to live in simplicity so that we do not forget to do good not only for themselves and their families but also to those around us. Therefore, we must always ensure that we are not wash with the luxury that we have so that we can obtain not only the happiness in the world but also in the hereafter.

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Artikel Motivasi - Kesabaran penting dalam kehidupan - Why Patience is Important

Kesabaran penting dalam kehidupan

Kesabaran merupakan asas keimanan kepada seseorang muslim. Kesabaran lahir dari hati yang suci dan ikhlas serta tenang menghadapi segala-galanya dengan tenang dan tabah. Kesabaran juga menjadi asas kepada kehidupan seseorang dalam menjalani kehidupan seharian tanpa kesabaran segala pekerjaan yang dilakukan mungkin akan mengalami kerugian. Seseorang manusia pasti akan melakukan sesuatu di luar kawalan manusia sekiranya konsep kesabaran tidak diaplikasikan didalam kehidupan mereka. Kerana itu banyak perkara yang tidak diingini ‘hadir’ dalam kehidupan manusia. Kesabaran tidak hanya tertumpu dan terbatas dengan gerak daya yang perlahan sahaja tetapi ianya membawa banyak maksud. Kesabaran hati juga memainkan peranan paling penting dalam kehidupan manusia.

Hati yang sabar akan tenang menghadapi segala liku-liku hidup yang kian mencabar dan mungkin boleh membuatkan seseorang hilang kewarasan jika tidak dikawal mengikut cara yang betul. Didalam konsep keimanan pula, kesabaran menjadi asas paling penting kerana  ianya terbukti di dalam perlaksanaan solat fardhu mahupun sunat. Solat yang khusyuk lahir dari hati yang sabar kerana setiap pergerakan yang di lakukan memupuk sikap kita supaya tidak tergesa-gesa dalam melakukan sesuatu pekerjaan. Tidak dinafikan bahawa sifat pemarah memang ada dalam diri manusia dan itu adalah normal sepertimana normalnya juga seorang suami yang ingin untuk beristeri dua dan sebagainya. 

Kebetulan juga  diri saya sendiri  juga boleh dikategori  sebagai seorang yang pemarah. Namun begitu sedikit demi sedikit ilmu yang dicari dan saya terima  sikap pemarah saya kian berkurangan  Sikap pemarah sebenarnya ini tidak dapat dibuang dari setiap diri manusia tetapi kalau boleh kita harus menjauhi perasaan marah dan lebihkan banyak bersabar.   Sepertimana kata pepatah inggeris ` there is no point losing your temper ` yang bermaksud kemarahan akan membuat sebarang masalah menjadi kusut.

 Ada yang mampu menghadapi kesusahan dengan perasaan tenang. Namun, ada pula orang yang menghadapi persoalan kecil saja dianggapnya begitu besar. Semuanya bergantung pada kekuatan iman seseorang. Pada dasarnya, tabiat manusia yang pelbagai  seperti tenang, cepat dan lambat, bersih dan kotor, berhubungan erat dengan keteguhan dan kesabarannya berinteraksi dengan orang lain. Orang yang memiliki keteguhan iman akan menghadapi orang lain dengan sikap pemaaf, tenang dan lapang dada.

Adakalanya, kita merasa begitu marah dengan seseorang yang menghina diri kita. Kemarahan kita begitu memuncak seolah jiwa kita hilang kesedaran. Kita merasakan  tidak lagi mampu menerima penghinaan itu dan sampai satu saat kita berasa marah dan berfikir di luar kewarasan sehingga boleh menimbulkan pertumpahan darah.  Oleh itu bersabarlah kamu setiap masa, Sesungguhnya kesabaran itu membawa kepada keharmonian hidup serta menjadikan hidup kita lebih sempurna dari sebelumnya. 

Patience crucial in the life

Patience is the foundation of faith to a Muslim.  Patience was born from a pure heart and sincere and calm everything is calm and resolute.  Patience is also fundamental to the life of someone in their daily life without the patience of all the work done may be a loss. A man must be doing something outside of human control if the concept of tolerance is not applied in their lives. Because of the many undesirable 'present' in human life. Patience is not only directed and limited by the slow motion power but it brings a lot of meaning.  Patience liver also plays important roles in human life. 

Heart patient will calmly face the vagaries of life are more challenging and may make a person lose his sanity, if not properly controlled manner. In the concept of faith, the patience of the most important basis for it is evident in the implementation of obligatory or supererogatory prayers.  Prayer of humble birth of a heart patient because every movement we do in fostering the attitude that in no hurry to do a job.  There is no doubt that there is grumpy nature in man and its normal as husband wants to get remarried again. 
Incidentally I also can be categorized as an ill-tempered.  However a little knowledge is sought and I received my grumpy attitude declining real grumpy attitude cannot be removed from any human being, but if possible we should avoid a lot of anger and chosen to be patient.  As the saying goes English ` there is no point losing your temper ` which means that the anger will make the problem go haywire.

Some are able to face adversity with a sense of calm. However, there are people who are facing small problem considers only so big. Everything depends on the strength of a person of faith. In essence, a variety of human nature as a quiet, fast and slow, clean and dirty, is closely related to the strength and patience to interact with others. People who have strong faith in the face of others by forgiving attitude, calm and relieved. 

Sometimes, we feel so angry with someone who insults us. Our anger was heightened as we have lost our soul awareness.  We feel no longer able to accept such humiliation and angry when we think outside the sanity that can lead to bloodshed.  So be patient all the time, patience would surely lead to harmony in life and make our lives better than ever.

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Artikel Motivasi - MENCARI KEMEWAHAN DUNIA JANGAN DILUPA KEMEWAHAN AKHIRAT.- Wealth in here and Hereafter

MENCARI KEMEWAHAN DUNIA JANGAN DILUPA KEMEWAHAN AKHIRAT.

Setiap orang pasti menginginkan kehidupan yang mewah. Namun banyak orang menempuhi jalan yang salah. Sebahagiannya menyangka bahawa kemewahan adalah dengan memiliki kereta mewah, telefon bimbit berjenama, memiliki rumah banglo bertingkat-tingkat, dapat melancong keseluruh dunia dan lain sebagainya. Mereka menyangka bahawa dengan dapat mencapai ini semua inilah yang dinamakan kemewahan. Namun apakah betul seperti itu?

Semua manusia berhak untuk menikmati kemewahan hidup di dunia ini. Sesungguhnya nikmat Allah S.W.T di dunia tiada hadnya. Jika kita merasakan sesuatu perkara ada hadnya, kita silap kerana sesuatu perkara itu tiada hadnya kecuali telah di tetapkan oleh Allah S.W.T seperti lelaki hanya di benarkan untuk berkahwin dengan 4 wanita. Kemewahan hidup adalah tiada had dan kita semua boleh mencapainya. Kita bercakap mengenai kemewahan, tetapi apakah maksud sebenar kemewahan? Kemewahan bermaksud semua yang kita  mahu boleh di tunaikan. Kemewahan merangkumi segala aspek kehidupan anda. Kita  malas untuk memandu, kita  boleh serahkan beban ini kepada pemandu. Kita  mahu makanan sedap, kita boleh membelinya dari tukang masak terhebat. Perasaan kemewahan di dunia adalah sama dengan ganjaran di syurga, yang menjadi perbezaannya adalah nikmat di syurga sudah tentulah berlipat kali ganda dari di dunia.

Apabila kita memulakan perniagaan, jangan menyempitkan pemikiran kita  dengan andaian untuk cepat kaya. Jika satu produk ada potensi yang tinggi untuk dimajukan , jangan malu untuk bersaing dengan penjual  yang sedia ada. Kemewahan tiada had. Misal kata peniaga yang memonopoli produk tersebut memperoleh sejuta ringgit keuntungan. Anda juga boleh mendapatnya. Kemewahan tiada had bermaksud pemberian rezeki dari Allah S.W.T adalah tiada hadnya. Semua manusia ada peluang dan ruang masing-masing untuk memperoleh kemewahan di dunia ini.

Harta merupakan satu anugerah kepada manusia dan menjadikan jiwa mereka tenang dan dapat menjalani kehidupan dengan sempurna.  Namun Allah s.w.t. mengingatkan kepada kita apabila memiliki harta dunia ini jangan sampai melalaikan tanggungjawab kepada Allah S.W.T. seperti solat, puasa, zakat dan ibadah haji.
Orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh, merekalah yang sebenarnya merasakan manisnya kehidupan dan kebahagiaan kerana hati selalu tenang, berbeza dengan orang-orang yang lalai dari Allah S.W.T.   yang selalu berasa gelisah.

Sebagai kesimpulannya, hati yang selalu merasa cukup itulah yang lebih utama dari harta yang melimpah ruah. Intipati  dari semua ini adalah kebahagiaan  terletak bukan pada dengan memiliki istana yang megah, kereta yang mewah, harta yang melimpah-ruah . Namun ianya  terletak  di dalam hati, iaitu hati yang memiliki keimanan, yang selalu merasa cukup dan selalu bersandar pada Allah Ta’ala.

Each person would have wanted a life of luxury. However, many people face the wrong way. Think that prosperity is partly to have a luxury car, branded mobile phones, has a multi-storey bungalows, to traveling all over the world and others. They think that to achieve this with all of this is called luxury. But what is the correct way?

All human beings are entitled to enjoy the luxury of living in this world.  Surely blessing of Allah SWT in the world without limitation. If we feel a thing has its limit, we are mistaken as a matter that has no limits unless prescribed by Allah SWT as the only men allowed marrying four women. Luxury living is no limit and we can all achieve. We are talking about luxuries, but the true meaning of luxury? Luxury means all that we want can be cashed. Luxury encompasses all aspects of your life. We are lazy drive; we can submit it to the driver loads. We want good food; we can buy from the best chefs. Feeling of luxury in the world is equal to the reward in heaven that the difference is in the favor of heaven, of course many times over from the world.

When we started the business, not narrowing our thinking with the assumption to get rich quick. If a product is a high potential for development, do not be shy to compete with existing sellers. Luxury has no limits. Suppose the dealer said the monopoly product to obtain a million dollars profit. You can also get it. The luxury of unlimited means of sustenance from Allah SWT is no limit. All people have the opportunities to acquire their wealth in this world.

Property is a gift to the people and make their lives a quiet life and to live properly. But God s.w.t. remind us when the real world not to neglect their responsibilities to Allah SWT such as prayer, fasting, zakat and hajj.

Those who believe and work righteousness, they actually taste the sweetness of life and happiness because the heart is always calm, as opposed to those who are heedless of Allah SWT who always felt uneasy.

In conclusion, always felt quite satisfied that it is more important than wealth abound. This is the essence of all happiness lies not in the palace has a magnificent, luxury cars, property-rich bulk. However, it is situated in the heart, the heart that has faith, which always feels pretty and always rely on Allah Ta'ala.

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Artikel Motivasi - SENTIASA BERSYUKUR JANGANLAH SELALU MENGELUH - Be Grateful and stop whining

SENTIASA BERSYUKUR JANGANLAH SELALU MENGELUH

Bersyukur atau rasa terima kasih merupakan perasaan atau sikap positif untuk menghargai faedah atau nikmat yang yelah atau yang akn diterima.  Rasa bersyukur seringkali ditumpukan dalam banyak agama.  Islam sendiripun menekankan rasa berterima kasih kepada Allah S.W.T keatas segala nikmat yang telah dikurniakan.  

Mengeluh adalah hal yang sangat mudah dilakukan dan bagi beberapa orang hal ini telah menjadi suatu kebiasaan. Kalau kamu termasuk dalam golongan orang yang suka mengeluh maka ketahuilah bahawa kebiasaan mengeluh tidak akan membuat situasi yang kamu hadapi menjadi lebih baik, malah hanya akan bertambah teruk.

Cuba kita bertanyakan kepada diri kita sendiri sekiranya kita mempunyai dua orang kawan.  Kawan yang pertama selalu mengucapkan kata-kata positif dan yang kedua selalu mengeluh,  kamu sebagai kawan akan memilih yang mana satu? Saya yakin jawapan kamu  adalah kawan yang pertama, kerana pada dasarnya semua orang senang berhubungan dengan orang-orang yang sentiasa berfikiran positif. 

Persoalan yang sering kali bermain diminda ialah mengapa kita selalu mengeluh. Adakah kita mengeluh kerana kita kecewa dengan kehidupan kita atau kerana apa yang kita inginkan atau kita hajati tidak tercapai. Kita perlu cepat sedar kerana hal ini terjadi setiap hari dalam kehidupan kita.  Jadi untuk mengatasi masalah ini ialah dengan kita semua perlu belajar bersyukur dengan setiap apa yang telah kita kecapi.  Kita perlu tanamkan didalam diri kita setiap apa yang berlaku itu pasti ada hikmahnya yang tersendiri.  Para ahli psikologi mengatakan bahawa “sikap bersyukur merupakan emosi yang paling sihat”.  Sebenarnya semakin banyak kita bersyukur semakin banyak hal yang kita akan  dapat untuk disyukuri dan sebaliknya.  Jangan mengeluh apabila kita menghadapi sebarang  masalah tetapi tutuplah mata kamu, tarik nafas panjang-panjang, kemudian tahan sekejap dan lepaskan secara perlahan-lahan, buka mata dan senyumlah sambil fikirkan bahawa kita harus mensyukuri nikmat yang telah Allah S.W.T berikan kepada kita.  Biasakan diri supaya tidak cepat mengeluh apabila sesuatu yang diinginkan tidak tercapai.  Tanamkan dalam diri sendiri agar selalu berfikiran positif dan selalu bersukur dengan setiap nikmat yang telah diperolehi. 

Ada banyak cara yang dapat dilakukan oleh kita untuk mensyukuri nikmat Allah swt. Secara garis besar, mensyukuri nikmat ini dapat dilakukan dengan seperti ,mensyukuri dengan hati, dengan mengakui, mengimani dan meyakini bahwa segala bentuk kenikmatan ini datangnya dari Allah S.W.T semata-mata.  Mensyukuri dengan lisan iaitu dengan memperbanyakkan ucapan  alhamdulillah (segala puji milik Allah) wasysyukru lillah (dan segala bentuk syukur juga milik Allah).  Kedua dengan mensyukuri dengan perbuatan.  Ketiga ialah dengan  mempergunakan segala bentuk kenikmatan Allah untuk menunaikan perintah-perintah Allah, baik perintah wajib, sunnah maupun mubah.  Keempat ialah  mempergunakan segala bentuk kenikmatan Allah dengan cara menghindari, menjauhi dan meninggalkan segala bentuk larangan Allah, baik larangan yang haram mahupun yang makruh.
Syukur dengan hati, lisan dan perbuatan ini hendaklah terefleksi dan tercermin pada setiap momentum yang bersifat zhahir, bahkan yang tersamar sekalipun. Contoh cerminan sikap mensyukuri nikmat Allah yang tampak secara lahir ini dapat dilihat dalam sikap Nabi Sulaiman A.S saat ia mendapati singgasana Balqis telah ada di sampingnya dalam sekejap mata. Saat itu Nabi Sulaiman langsung berkata, "Ini adalah anugerah Allah. Dia bermaksud mengujiku, adakah aku bersyukur ataukah aku kufur." (QS An-Naml: 40)


Give thanks or gratitude is a feeling or a positive attitude to appreciate the benefits or favors, or I suppose that will then be accepted. Gratitude is often concentrated in many religions.  Islam itself emphasizes gratitude to Allah SWT that was bestowed. 

Complaining is a very easy and for some people, this has become a habit. If you are among those who like to complain, and then know that the habit of complaining will not make you face in the situation better, but will get worse. 

Let us ask ourselves if we have two friends. The friend who first uttered these words is always positive and the second is always complaining, you as a friend to choose which one? I'm sure the answer you were friends first, because basically everyone is happy to deal with people who always think positively.
The question that often plays in our mind is why we always complain are we to complain because we are disappointed with our lives, or because what we want or we've requested cannot be reached. We need to quickly realize because it happens every day in our lives. So to solve this problem is with all of us need to learn to be thankful with what we have all enjoyed. We need to cultivate in ourselves all what happened it must have its own wisdom. The psychologist said that "the attitude of gratitude is the healthiest emotion. “Actually, the more we thank the many things we will be able to be grateful and vice versa. Do not complain when we encounter any problems, but close your eyes, breathe in long-term, then hold and release a glance slowly, open your eyes and smile as he thinks that we should be grateful that God gave to us. Make a habit of not quick to complain when something desired is not achieved. Invested in you to always think positive and always be grateful for every favour that had been obtained.

There are many ways that can be done by us to be thankful for Allah’s blessings. In general, these grateful to be with like, thanks to the heart, by confessing,  and believe that all forms of pleasure come from God alone.  Responsive to verbal speech is to multiply alhamdulillah (all praise belongs to Allah) wasysyukru Lillah (and any form of gratitude is owned by Allah). Both with gratitude to the act. The third is to utilize all forms of enjoyment of God to fulfill God's commands, whether the order shall, Sunnah and mubah. Fourth is to utilize all forms of enjoyment of God in a way to avoid, and avoid leaving any form of prohibition of God, whether the prohibition of illegal or disapproved.

Gratitude to the liver, oral, and this act shall be reflected and reflected on the character of each zhahir momentum, even though the blind. Examples of reflection grateful attitude is born of God that looks can be seen in the attitude of the U.S. Solomon when he found the throne queen was there at his side in the blink of an eye. At that time Solomon immediately said, "This is the grace of God. He means may try, will I be grateful or do I deny." (Surah An-Naml: 40)

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Hargai Milikmu

Hargailah segala yang kau miliki; anda akan memiliki lebih lagi. Jika anda fokus pada apa yang tidak anda miliki, anda tidak akan pernah merasa cukup dalam hal apapun.
Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.
~ Oprah Winfrey

Empat Tips Mengelak Rasa Bosan

Apa itu perasaan bosan? Dalam bahasa Melayu, ia ialah rasa bosan dalam bahasa Inggeris boring. Rasa bosan  timbul Ketika Anda jemu mengadap sesuatu berulang-ulang kali. Dalam keadaan lain, berasa bosan timbul tatkala Kita tiada apa yang hendak dibuat, tak terdapat apa yang mahu dilakukan waktu saat terluang. Awas, rasa bosan petanda besar Kita adalah manusia yang tak memiliki matlamat.

Panduan motivasi kali ni, di bawah ini ialah four petua bagaimana mengelak merasa boring.

1. Sibukkan Diri, Kenal Pasti Hobi.

Cari apa yang berupaya dilakukan. Bentuk diri menjadi rajin. Jika Anda tidak ada apa hendak dilakukan, fikirkan sesuatu yang Kita rasa enak mengamalkannya supaya tak sedar saat berlalu. Ada orang suka tengok tv kerana dia merasa seronok menonton television, walau daripada pagi hingga ke malam. Terdapat manusia suka memancing, sebab dia minat memancing, walau daripada malam sampai ke pagi. Untuk mengelak merasa boring cari sesuatu di sekeliling yang boleh Anda lakukan.

2. Menjadi Workaholik.

Manusia workaholik (kata asalnya ialah ‘workaholic’) ialah orang yang suka bekerja, sentiasa bersama tugas hingga tak sedar masa berlalu. Kerja bukan tugas untuk dirinya tetapi satu hobi. Perasaan  bekerja ini akan hadir tatkala Anda menemui keseronokan waktu melaksanakan kerja.Untuk mengelak rasa boring, Kita berupaya latih diri kita jadi seorang workaholic - selalu ada sahaja yang perlu dibuat, terdapat saja yang perlu disiapkan, terdapat saja yang perlu disempurnakan. Awas, tabiat workaholic tak sesuai untuk orang dah kawin. Kalau Anda suami, nanti pasangan Anda saman Anda sebab tidak balik-balik rumah dek terlalu layan kerja. Kalau Kita seorang suami, nanti pasangan Kita makan mee Maggi tiap hari.

3. Set matlamat, azam, cita-cita dan impian. Selepas itu berusahalah mencapainya!

Orang yang sentiasa berasa bosan adalah manusia yang tidak memiliki impian. Manusia yang bosan bersama hidup adalah manusia tidak memiliki cita-cita. Set suatu matlamat sesudah itu fikirkan kaedah untuk mencapai matlamat itu, lepas tu berusalah merealisasinya walaupun dengan apa kaedah sekalipun, asalkan halal. Kenangkan,  fikir, selepas tu buat. Buat dan langsung buat. Jangan tidak bergerak! Sedekit demi sedikit Anda akan perasan Anda boleh mengelak merasa boring kerana anda sudah tidak ada masa bagi berasa boring. Masa yang terdapat terisi dengan kerja kuat ke arah memperoleh cita-cita Anda.

4. Banyakkan Diri Beribadah.

Ini pula ialah tips yang baik untuk mengelak merasa bosan dari pandangan Islam. Sibukkan diri bersama ibadah. Dalam menyempurnakan tuntutan ibadah wajib, banyakkan ibadah sunat. Hadirkan berasa kekurangan serta kehambaan dalam diri. Jangan cuba merasa puas dengan ibadah-ibadah yang sudah disempurnakan sebelum ini. Rasai keseronokan melaksanakan ibadah, rasai ketenangan ketika dalam proses menyempurnakan ibadah. Pastinya Anda terpanggil bagi mengamalkannya lagi, dan lagi, serta lagi, banyak kali sampaikan Kita seperti tidak hendak berhenti.

Self Improvement is a Journey From You to a Better You

In todays world of competition no one can succeed without really improving oneself in every aspect of our lives. Be it your career, relationship with your family, your friends or foes, it all necessitates constant improvement in our side. Instead of thinking that we are perfect and that it's others who must improve or behave themselves, we must try to understand fellow human beings, or why they behave in a particular manner. This would actually make the road towards self improvement easier. Be willing to bring a change in yourself!
Improving one's self is not as easy as it seems! Self improvement is all about enriching our lives with some values and following a few guidelines which we create to make us a better person. Once a foundation is made, the road to self improvement would become a smoother one. Firstly we must have proper focus or we should concentrate on what must be improved in us! It might seem to be simple, but it is not.
Proper planning is very important in this. We must analyze ourselves and find out which aspect needs improvement in the first place. Is it our career, relationship with your family, financial aspects, health or any other factor which seeks up most attention?
Decide which one is to be dealt with first.
Once a list is ready, move on with it and mentally prepare yourself for the change in you.

Decide on what is to be done. You can also ask for opinion from your close family or your friends whom you trust. And also remember that a deadline to meet each criteria in the made up list is as important as making up the list. If you take your own time, it might as well never happen. A decision made, just focus on the result part. Once an objective in the list is fulfilled just go ahead to the next one and keep re focusing and organizing yourself. You are doing this to make yourself a better social being!
Have confidence in yourself and move ahead in the right direction to make a better you!







[http://www.minterest.com/2007/08/26/self-improvement-is-a-journey-from-you-to-a-better-you/]

Diari Kesyukuran

Tidak terdapat paksaan bagi Kita lkitakan perkara ni. kita mengajak kita untuk membina Diari Syukur bagi membuat kita tabah, bagi membina rasa suka serta bagi menimbulkan motivasi hendak berbakti dari dalam diri kita.

Selain menyenaraikan 10 hal yang Kita syukuri tiap hari, kita boleh jua tumpukan fikiran pada 10 perkara lain yang Kita cukup syukuri tanpa perlu menulisnya. Hadirkan rasa bersyukur pada Tuhan oleh sebab diberi ruang untuk mempunyai kesemuanya.

Orang-orang berjaya, meskipun kebanyakannya bukan beragama Islam,sering menyebut merasa berterima kasih kerana diberikan peluang untuk mencapai tahap berjaya, seperti mana yang mereka dapat hari ini. Jaranglah mereka kata seperti “kejayaan ni ialah dapatan kerja keras kita”.

Namun mereka akan kata “syukur dan terima kasih pada Tuhan kerana memberikan kita kejayaan ini, tahap ini berjaya dicapai hasil sokongan kita serta jua hasil sokongan keluarga.”. Meskipun hakikatnya manusia-manusia berjaya boleh mencapai kejayaan hasil dari kerajinan berusaha, mereka mededikasikan kejayaan itu pada Tuhan dan pada orang-manusia sekeliling.

Berikut adalah misalan Diari Syukur yang ditujukan spesifik dalam perhubungan sesama manusia, termasuk perhubungan cinta!

1.rasa syukur kerana ada seseorang mencintai kita sekarang ini.

2.rasa syukur pada Yang Maha Esa kerana menemukan seorang rakan yang menyokong kita

3.syukur pada Yang Maha Esa oleh sebab menemukan kita dengan seseorang yang kita cintai

4.Terima kasih Ya Allah, engkau menemukan kita bersama sinar cunta! rasa syukur alhamdulillah

5.Ya Allah, kami bersyukur padaMu kerana hidup kami dihiasi suka, rasa syukur Ya Allah.

6.rasa syukur pada Allah oleh sebab kawan kita membantu kita hari ini.

7.rasa syukur pada Allah oleh sebab memiliki rakan membantu kita, ketika kita memerlukan.

8.syukur padaMu Yang Maha Esa kerana Engkau menemukan kami bersama sahabat yang memahami kami.

9.Thanks Allah, engkau hampirkan kita bersama kawan-kawan, thank you.

10.syukur pada Allah kerana mengizinkan kita bergaul baik bersama-sama manusia, syukur, syukur.

kita boleh gunakan pelbagai perkataan untuk memanjatkan rasa kesyukuran Kita, gunakan perkataan seperti terima kasih, thanks, alhamdulillah,syukur.. kesannya tak berubah.

Matlamat Kita mengucapkan rasa syukur adalah untuk berterima kasih pada Tuhan serta menghargai apa yang kita miliki pada masa ini, bermula daripada wang yang Kita miliki, kerja Kita, kawan-kawan kita, circle of relatives Kita,pasangan kita, kekasih kita, blog kita ,kereta Kita, aset kita hinggalah ke sekecil-kecil hal seperti hidangan dan air minuman Kita yang kita makan setiap hari.

Tiga Perkara Asas Bagaimana Meletak Resolusi Untuk Tahun 2011

Berikut adalah tiga langkah asas bagaimana untuk meletak resolusi tahun 2011.

1. Kalau kita Masih Mahu Langsungkan Azam Lama, Kali Ini Pertingkatkan Usaha.

Mungkin kita tidak hendak buat azam baru hanya kerana kita ada resolusi lama.  Mesti miliki sebab mengapa Anda masih tidak berjaya merealisasikan resolusi itu pada tahun 2010, barangkali usaha kurang. Dari sentiasa berfikir cemana nak mencapai resolusi, kali ni paksa diri kita untuk berhempas pulas mencapainya dengan melatih diri bagi menjadi rajin. Manusia yang asyik berfikir tetapi kurang usaha tak boleh dapat apa-apa. Orang yang ringan tulang bekerja kemudian sentiasa berkira-kira cemana mahu membaguskan usahanya supaya semakin menjadi, itulah orang yang akan dapat memperoleh azam yang dicita-citakannya.


2. Tulis, Lekat, Baca, Ingat. (T.L.B.I.)

Tulis azam di atas kertas supaya akal kita ‘menangkap’apa yang kita hendak capai lepas menerimanya sebagai satu arahan untuk direalisasikan. Lekat azam yang sudah ditulis itu di tempat yang Anda mudah nak baca berpuluh kali dalam  satu hari, umpamanya di dinding. Jika anda jarang selesa dengan cara ini sebab risau orang lain nampak azam yang kita, tulis di atas sekeping kad kecil, bawa ke mana-mana serta baca berpuluh kali dalam sehari, jika berupaya sampai beratus kali sehari. Kenapa Anda perlu buat ni? Tujuannya untuk menjadikan minda kita tertumpu pada resolusi kita, bukan pada perkara lain. Tatkala otak sudah tertumpu pada hal lain, sia-sia sahajalah Anda meletak azam sebab kita tidak merasai dorongan nak mencapainya.


3. Tentukan, Fokuskan, Usah Tukar.

Tetapkan 3 azam dalam suatu hari, usah lebih supaya tumpuan kita tak berkecamuk,sekejap itu, sekejap ini. Ini bukan saat untuk bereksperimen. Ini masa untuk membentuk hidup yang lebih baik, oleh itu azam perlu tetap. Tentukan apa Anda mahu capai. Kalau kita seorang pekerja, apa Anda hendak dapat sebagai seorang pekerja dalam tahun 2011? Mungkinkan kita mahu dapat tahap gaji yang banyak? Kenaikkan pangkat? Atau mhanya mahu memajukan diri dalam kerjaya Anda? Kalau kita seorang mami, seorang isteri dan seorang anak, apakah yang Anda hendak dapat dalam tahun 2011? Kalau kita seorang usahawan, apa yang kita mahu dapat pada tahun 2011 nanti? Tetapkan resolusi, usah ubah selagi belum berjaya dicapai. Inilah kaedah sangat penting dalam meletakkan resolusi. Sebab ramai dari kita semua suka bertukar-tukar resolusi, macam tukar pakaian.

Kunci pada pencapaian resolusi ialah usaha. Usaha, kerja kuat, usaha!

The ABC's of Self-improvement - What it Is, What to Look For

According to a Marketdata Enterprises market report, the U.S. self-improvement market is worth $9.6 Billion. It's a huge business and it attracts a lot of attention. Yet, for all its importance, most people fail to understand what it's all about.
A lot of people who are attracted to the art and science of self-improvement are motivated by the lure of money. They want to know better and more expedient ways of climbing the ladder of financial success. It's no accident that the bible of the self-improvement world is called, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
That is really unfortunate because financial success is really only a relatively small part of what self-improvement should be about. First and foremost, self-improvement should be about finding ways of having a more successful life and money is only a part of that equation.
Until that is understood, all the personal work done in self-improvement is next to useless. Money may be essential to a happy life but it's only an aspect of the whole picture. This has been clearly demonstrated in the stories of people who have achieved great levels of financial success and were left so disillusioned that they ended up committing suicide.
Self-improvement is mostly about acquiring the tools and the knowledge necessary to take control of our life in all of its aspects. It's about learning how to control the internal Master System that directs all human behavior.
Man is without a doubt the most sophisticated and complex creation or invention on Planet Earth - yet it did not come with an Owner's Manual. That is what the science of self-improvement is all about. It's the next best thing to that Owner's Manual.
The emphasis in self-development should be on Personal Control and not exclusively on financial success. This point cannot be stressed enough because it's the number one reason that people get into any of the self-help disciplines and fail.
The science of making money is not all that complex. It could be summed up in a few sentences: 1) Be obsessed with money. 2) Keep on trying to find new ways of making money. 3) Work very hard and save. Anything added to that is superfluous. Nothing else is needed.
On the other hand, real self-improvement is a life-long process. It's not about learning new tricks on how to influence people. It's about understanding why we do what we do, about fundamental personality change and about character building.
The title says it all, self-improvement. It's about improving who we are as humans. It's about learning that our past does not equate our future. It's about coming to grip with the fact that it is possible to change and finding out how those changes can be affected.
The time invested in self-improvement can yield amazing returns. It can open the door to great achievements, transform lives and turn a meaningless existence into a world of greatness. No one has ever achieved anything worthwhile without using the principles found in the science of self-improvement.
Like any other discipline, self-improvement requires going through the theory and practice parts of that science. Learning without doing is moot. It does require work, discipline and diligence. It is a lifelong process, nothing that can be done overnight. The results are proportional to the time and efforts invested.
In one word, self-improvement is about understanding what motivates us to do the thing that we do and about character building. Once that this is understood, we are ready to plunge into the wonderful world of self-improvement knowing that our expectations will be met.







Dr. Raymond Comeau aka Shamou is the Author of ShamouBlog and Owner Administrator of Personal Development for Personal Success Forums

Panduan Bagaimana Kekalkan Kegembiraan Kita

Untuk berani, Kita perlu rasai kegembiraan serta kegirangan. Dalam perkataan Inggeris, ni dipanggil happiness and joy. Apabila kegembiraan hadir di jiwa, ada kaedah untuk kekalkannya.

Kita perlu mengetahui bahawa keceriaan serta kegirangan yang dimiliki di dalam hati akan menarik lebih banyak lagi kegembiraan dan kegirangan.

Happiness draws more happiness,joy draws extra pleasure!

Bagi kekalkan keceriaan yang Anda rasa, ucapakan syukur selalu. Inilah cara bagi kekalkan bersemangat. Kekal termotivasi.

Ucapkan terima kasih pada setiap manusia di sekeliling Anda, ucap walaupun fungsi mereka pada Anda kecil sahaja, misalnya, ucap terima kasih pada tukang cuci yang membersihkan pejabat Anda, ucap terima kasih pada budak pencuci kereta yang membersih kereta Anda. Andai kata kena saman, ucap terima kasih pada Tuan Polis kerana menyaman kesilapan Kita, menjadikan Kita sedar kesilapan yang Kita lakukan.

Jika seorang suami, ucap terima kasih pada isteri Kita kerana mengambil berat diri Kita, ucap terima kasih pada dia kerana sanggup bersusah payah berkhidmat untuk Kita sebagai ketua keluarga.

Jika Anda seorang pasangan, nyatakan terima kasih pada pasangan oleh sebab dia ada untuk Anda berharap hidup padanya. Keceriaan yang lahir dari rasa bersyukur menjadikan Kita menghargai pasangan Kita, bukan sekali dua, tetapi setiap hari.

Tiap kali Kita dilanda kegusaran berdepan dugaan ataupun permasalahan, alihkan seketika fikiran Anda pada benda-benda yang Anda ada serta jaga manusiag berhampiran Anda. Ini menjadikan Anda bersemangat dalam bekerja kuat menyelesaikan masalah.

Dulu, kita berani sebab kita hendak capai sesuatu. Sekarang, gunakan rasa syukur untuk membuat diri kita kuat hati selalu.

Kegembiraan yang terbit daripada kesykuran lebih bertahan lama. Ia membuat Kita jadi energetik. Kita akan komited pada apa sahaja yang kita lakukan.

Pasang Matlamat Hendak Gembira dan Bahagia Sentiasa

Sudah pastinya Kita miliki impian sekarang ni. Kita hendak berjaya, hendak bahagia. Kali ni, usah terlalu struggle lagi. Tak perlu mengerah otak bersusah-payah berusaha. Tu cara dulu.

Sekarang, kita guna kaedah baru. Wujudkan kegirangan digabung bersama kerajinan berusaha. Bersama kegirangan, Anda akan bersemangat. Tiap kali Anda bahagia, tiap kali tu jugalah Anda akan bersemangat. Buat apa pun makin menjadi, dalam apa jua hal Anda usahakan.

Pasang impian mahu gembira setiap hari. Ini caranya. Ambil sekeping buku dan pen. Tarik nafas dalam-dalam. Tenagkan fikiran. Bebaskan dari memikirkan hutang, beban dan segala jenis musibah. Lupakan. Let go!

Selepas tu, tuliskan matlamat Kita hendak bahagia setiap hari. Tuliskan begini “Aku hendak aman dan bahagia saat ini“. Ketika dah buat begini, samalah macam Kita dah tanam benih. Selepas itu, Ketika benih dah tumbuh jadi anak-anak pokok dan semakin membesar, kena siram dan baja selalu.

Bajai dan sirami benih kegembiraan di jiwa Anda bersama kasih sayang, rasa syukur dan kemaafan. Jaga manusia yang Kita cintai.

Ucap terima kasih pada dia oleh sebab dia mencintai kita, meskipun selama ni Kita dah hidup dengan  dengan dia sebagai suami atau pasangan 17 tahun yang lepas! Bukan buang tebiat, namun untuk hendak jaga pasangan ataupun suami kita, supaya daripada situ Kita kekal bersemangat.

Kekalkan yang baik, kurangkan kisah lampau, hapuskan yang buruk-buruk di fikiran. Barulah keceriaan terus di jiwa . Apabila dah bahagia, apa sahaja yang Kita lakukan mudah jadinya.

Self Improvement and Motivation

Self Improvement and motivation are usually in a yin and yang relationship. They can at times be locked in a combat for supremacy, but other times self improvement and motivation are traveling buddies, arm-in-arm, each carrying the other.
Self improvement is the goal and motivation is the means to get there. Sometimes the horse gallops, other times he's kicking and bucking you off his chaffed saddle. To say that one depends upon the other is an understatement, as it may be said we only ever do that which we've been motivated to at any given moment.
Even given a situation in which one finds him or herself under heavy duress, people can find themselves committing either acts of heroism or villainy, seemingly against the odds.
First, let's consider the objects of this dynamic relationship. The obvious problem is that it is we who are the objects of such a discussion. It is our self improvement and motivation that is under question, and therein is our biggest problem. We are ever-changing and helplessly dependent beings. We begin life derived from our parents. Our existence and mood depends upon things mostly out of our control. We may pack an umbrella and predict the next storm but are powerless to stop or start the deluge. As our frustration at the daunting reality of being a frail human tempts us to lose focus of our goal (self improvement or otherwise), our mood becomes an ocean liner's anchor on a kayak and drags us down.
What to do in this bleak situation? Are we doomed to failure at every turn? How do we succeed in motivating ourselves to improve ourselves?
Knowing our limits is really the first step to freedom from perpetual depression and frustration, actually. It has been my observation and personal experience that solving any problem begins with its identification. Problem: we are unable to change everything we would like to change. Why is that so important? Simple: it frees us from the tyranny of trying to move Granite Mountains by banging our heads harder into them. Our solutions to our obstacles in life then become more realistic. Instead of moving the granite monolith mocking our progress by pulverizing our skulls upon their immovable faces, we can simply climb. We can go around the long way. We can hitch a ride upon any number of vehicles designed to overcome such obstacles. We have options! This realization further frees us from the tyrant of frustration. We aren't as helpless as we'd first thought.
We are only doomed to failure and misery if we attempt the same thing a thousand times, complaining all the way that our attempts are getting us nowhere. Naturally that would be the case, granite doesn't mind if you pound your flesh upon its face. You will lose every time, and perhaps complain that it hurts. Whatever you do, once you've identified such a blockade to progress, find another path around or over the obstacle. Exploring options, even grim options we may not have bothered to consider heretofore, will go a long way towards motivating us to continue. The quest for self improvement at this juncture is stymied: delayed, but not lost. There is hope.
Continuing the journey of self improvement will require a dogged determination to reach the goal, even if it feels as if our engine of motivation has quit along the way. By the way, motivation isn't merely "feeling like going on," rather that is merely emotion or mood. Mood is a very important character in the play, but often a doppelganger for motivation. Motivation is that dogged and central drive within us that is connected somehow to adrenaline and other hormones in our body. We fight or flee when we're most motivated to do so. Motivation is sometimes helped and other times hindered by mood. Running the marathon of self improvement means our motivation must not be confused with our mood. Only when our mood becomes the wind driving our motivational sails can we allow mood to play a key role. Other times, mood can become a champion fighter in the opposite corner of the ring. We must fight against it or ignore it when our motivation to continue is subdued by a negative mood or attitude.
Practically speaking, it's rather elementary to discover ways to motivate ourselves. Just about every motivator we know was introduced to us in grade school or in our mother's lap. We are motivated by love, motivated by the prize of time and quality of life...and we're all motivated a little differently. To one, money is a huge motivator. To another, simply eating a square meal propels him forward. My advice to you is this: when you set out on this course of self improvement and motivation becomes an issue, think of where you've been and where you're going. Set your face like flint against going back to who and what you're "improving from," the old you, and remind yourself why you thought self improvement and motivation were really all that important in the first place.
To get you motivated, set up milestones, little goals for yourself along the way, and celebrate like mad when you've reached those mini goals. Defer things such as a date night, and use it rather as a carrot to motivate you to complete a milestone. That term "milestone," by the way, can be a simple baby step. It should be an attainable goal, such as getting up half an hour early each day or cutting back on the third serving. If the milestone is a change in habit, then celebrate when you've gone a week consistently making progress in that change.
Whatever happens, there is no turning back. Keeping yourself motivated by keeping yourself focused on the prize and not the problems along the way will be the wind at your back. Remember that the biggest motivator is hope. Cling to hope. If you can't find any, ask someone to help give you some. There's plenty to go around, and you'll find that even the smallest morsel of hope becomes a feast when you've been famished for it. Enjoy the trip, self improvement and motivation will soon become more reward and less work as you accomplish your goals along the way.







The Author, Ian Lewis, has made available a Complimentary Online Video which shows you how to quickly destroy negative thinking patterns and become more confident & powerful immediately.
To view, Visit http://www.econfidencebooster.com

Fear Factor on Your Self-Improvement Journey

Have you ever wonder is fear good or bad when it comes to self-improvement?
To determine if fear is a good companion or bad one you need to examine if it is motivating you or keeping you back from achieving your self-improvement goal. Fear that is good is apparent before you decision to self-improve and fear that is bad occurs as you are trying to achieve your self-improvement goal.
Fear can be a good companion if it motivates you to start improving yourself. Fear of not being promoted can motivate you to work harder. Fear of having a heart attack can motivate you to start exercise regularly. Fear of not being able to earn enough money can motivate you study harder.
Fear can also be a bad and unwelcome companion on your journey towards self-improvement. You must learn to say no to allowing fear on your journey. Fear can stop you from taking your journey or completing it. You must develop some psychological tools to deal with fear if you are going to be successful at achieving your self-improvement goal. Psychology plays a very important role in overcoming any problem including those posed by fear.
Psychologically you must arm yourself with all the reasons why you decided to go on your self-improvement journey. List the reasons and read them out loud.
Are the reasons still valid? Do you still desire to achieve your self-improvement goal? Fear can make it impossible to take a chance or to take the required actions needed in order to achieve your goal.
4 psychological tips to help you overcome fear:


Make a list of all of the positive results that will be achieved when you reach your self-improvement goal. The results can be health benefits, being able to fit into a smaller size of clothing, looking better, etc.
Picture someone else who has already achieved what you are trying to do. Knowing that someone else can achieve your goal can give you a psychological incentive to do so too.
Make a list of the things that could happen to you if you do not achieve your self-improvement goal. How much would you lose if these things happened?
Now picture yourself after you have successfully completed all the steps necessary to achieve your self-improvement goal. What do you look like? How is your life different?

You can overcome fear and successfully say no to this unwelcome companion if you use psychology as a tool.
Fear that motivates you to start a self-improvement project is good and fear that stops you from achieving your self-improvement goal is bad. Only you can tell if the fear you are experiencing will motivate your self-improvement or hinder it.







For more information related to Personal Development, visit http://PersonalDevelopmentMaster.com site. Personal Development Master site provides self improvement tips, personal developing skills and motivation, inspiration information to expand awareness, gain control of one's life. We believe that with self education, everyone is a Personal Development Master.

Tiga Kaedah Bagaimana Untuk Mengurangkan Sikap Buruk sangka

Apa sikap buruk sangka ini?

Burk sangka atau skeptik ialah meragui sesuatu, ia adalah emosi takut jika apa yang Kita hendakkan tak tercapai, risau tak menjadi, risau tak seperti yang dijangkakan.

Bagi memahami apakah skeptik, anggap ia sebagai keraguan terhadap sesuatu. kita simply rasa tak yakin sepenuhnya.

Di bawah ini adalah dua cara bagaimana untuk mengurangkan sikap buruk sangka…

1. Tumpu pada apa yang bisa berlaku, bukan pada yang barangkali boleh jadi.

Ayat berlainan memberi kesan berlainan di minda. Apabila kita fokus fikiran pada apa yang berupaya berlaku, Kita jadi tak ragu. Tatkala kita memfokus pada apa yang mungkin berupaya jadi, Kita menjadi ragu. Timbul rasa skeptik disebabkan oleh perkataan ‘mungkin’. Visualisasikan hasil, tumpu pada apa yang berupaya kita buat, bukan pada apa yang barangkali berupaya gagal.

2. Elak guna perkataan berusaha, sebaliknya buat saja!

Hindar melatih diri dari sentiasa menggunakan perkataan cuba, misalnya “aku cuba bagi menjadi yang terbaik”. Gunakan perkataan “aku pilih bagi…” (I make a choice to..) dan “aku hendak…” agar kita boleh kurangkan sikap skeptik dan lupakannya.

Apabila Kita sebut perkataan “aku cuba” atau terdetik berusaha untuk mencapai sesuatu, tidak semena-mena akan timbul merasa ragu. Sebenarnya ini normal, tapi menjadi tidak normal selepas bertukar jadi negatif tatkala ia jadi besar, bertukar jadi kegusaran berpanjangan.

Bagi melawan malas, caranya rajinkan diri. Jangan sebut perkataan “tidak mahu malas” sebab meskipun kita berusaha lawan malas, kita rasa bertambah malas.

Bagi melawan buruk sangka, caranya optimiskan diri, hindar untuk guna perkataan “melawan rasa skpetik” sebab Kita akan menjadi semakin buruk sangka, bertambah gusar. Apa yang kita lawan, itulah yang Kita akan peroleh!

Jadi bagaimana? Pilihlah untuk jadi orang BERANI GAGAL!.

Ketika sudah kuat hati untuk gagal, skeptik menghilang dan mengurang. Tabiat buruk sangka kita tak boleh buang, Kita cuma berupaya kurangkan, kecilkan dan kawal.

Bagi memahirkan diri menahan sikap skeptik, berlatihlah untuk melihat apa yang boleh terjadi, sesudah itu bertindaklah merealisasikannya.

kita tidak akan kenyang kalau cuma membayangkan ayam KFC.

Kita tidak akan kenyang kalau cuma menvisualisasikan diri kita tengah memakan daging ayam KFC.

kita kena bertindak dan bergerak! Buka kaedah serta berjalanlah menuju ke restoran KFC.

Pergi ke kaunter dan order sepiring daging ayam KFC!

Nampak tak?

Bagi merubah sesuatu (umpamanya dalam misalan tadi, merubah berasa lapar menjadi berasa kenyang) kita perlu kenangkan dulu, bayangkan lalu  bertindaklah merealisasikannya.

Perbuatan Baik Dibalas Jahat? Ikuti panduan Ini

kita lakukan sesuatu yang bagus pada seseorang, lepas itu dia pula lakukan sesuatu yang jahat pada kita. Tindakan bagus kita dibalas bersama tindakan jahat. Sedihnya. Apa nak lakukan lepas ini? Berikut adalah tiga hal perlu kita buat tika perbuatan baik kita dibalas bersama perbuatan jahat.

1. Serahkan soalan balasan perbuatannya pada Allah.

Allah Yang Esa memiliki kaedah tersendiri untuk membalas setiap tindakan jahat orang sekeliling kepada kita. Sebagai contoh, mungkin Allah Yang Esa akan buat rezekinya disempitkan, hidupnya disusahkan, usahanya digagalkan. kita tidak akan dapat kuasai jumlah manusia yang berbuat jahat pada kita. kita tidak akan boleh elak manusia hendak buat jahat pada kita. Tapi orang yang berbuat jahat pada kita pastinya tidak akan boleh hindar balasan Allah Yang Esa atas setiap tindakan jahat mereka. Soal balas-membalas perbuatan jahat manusia pada kita, itu urusan Tuhan. Serahkan pada Tuhan. Kerja kita, teruskan bersangka baik, teruskan berperangai baik, teruskan berkata bagus-bagus. Sebagai orang Melayu beragama Islam, kita makhluk bertuhan, maka usah jangan ingat Tuhan.

2. Doakan dia.

Manusia buat jahat pada kita, kita kena doakan dia. Haa? Kenapa pulak? Mana berupaya! (Selalunya inilah ayat yang kita akan kata!) Doakan agar dia berubah. Sebenarnya, kalau kita balas perbuatan jahat manusia pada kita dengan tindakan jahat hingga berdendam, ketahuilah kita sudah masuk ke dalam perangkap pemikiran negatif. Kesannya, fikiran kita menjadi negatif seta merta. Perbuatan kita menjadi negatif, hidup kita di kelilingi situasi-situasi negatif. Manusia mempunyai fikiran negatif hidupnya tidak pernah aman, tidak pernah mara sebab rasa dendam menangkis sapa-sapa sahaja dari menjadi orang berjaya. kita akan kerap ditimpa musibah dan beban tatkala menjadi manusia suka berdendam, walaupun rasa dendam tu cuma sebesar kaki semut. kita akan kata kesemua masalah yang muncul dalam hidup kita, kita tak pernah minta. Pada hakikatnya kita sendirilah yang memanggil kesusahan tu datang ke dalam hidup kita kerana kita menyimpan dendam. Hindar berdendam oleh sebab rasa dendam yang sedikit akan menjadikan anda penuh dendam. Lebih banyak rasa dendam tersimpan di hati, lebih payah merasa kita hendak memperoleh kecemerlangan dalam apa juga perkara.

3. Terus mara ke depan, usah menoleh ke belakang lagi.

Usaha memburu kecemerlangan tidak pernah serik dari dugaan. Seumpama contoh, jika kita nak jadi pekerja cemerlang, pastinya akan ada manusia sekeliling yang tidak puas hati. Mengapa? Cemburu, simply kerana dia tidak nak melihat kita maju. kita tidak akan dapat hindar orang yang cemburu pada kita. kita tidak akan dapat tahan rasa cemburu manusia pada kita. kita tidak akan dapat halang mana-mana orang daripada mencemburui kita. Usah layan fikiran-fikiran camni kerana ia akan mengubah tumpu otak kita. Sebaik-baik kesibukan ialah kesibukan memajukan diri, bukan kesibukan memikir cakapan-cakapan manusia tentang kita. Usah sibukkan fikiran dengan cakapan-cakapan manusia kerana kita akan tak ada pedoman, tiada pembangunan diri, tiada inspirasi. kita akan mudah bersangka buruk kerana kita sentiasa memikir apa yang orang cakap pasal diri kita, kita akan gemar kenangkan yang bukan-bukan.

Bagi menangani hal sebegini, maafkan saja orang yang berbuat jahat pada kita. Maafkan saja manusia yang berdendam pada kita. Lepas tu, lupakan kesalahannya. Selepas itu, LET GO hal tu, jangan cuba berusaha nak kenang lagi walau sekadar terlintas sesaat di fikiran. kita kena pastikan jiwa kita bersih selalu agar kita jadi bermotivasi sentiasa. Jika teringat walaupun beberapa saat, ingatan yang sedikit tu akan meneutralkan kepositifan kita.

Untuk menjadi insan mempunyai fikiran positif, kita kena bebaskan hati, fikiran dan percakapan daripada aspek-aspek negatif. Ketahuilah aspek negatif ini jika memilikinya walaupun cuma sedikit, ia akan merosakkan fikiran positif.

Bagi melupakan perkara-perkara negatif, teringatkan sahaja perkara-hal positif sepanjang masa. Jangan lawan fikiran negatif, sebaliknya, penuhkan minda dengan aspek-aspek positif macam kegembiraan, keseronokan,kebahagiaan,berasa kekitaan. Makin kita lawan sesuatu, makin banyaklah kita dapat apa yang kita lawan tu.

Cara Memulai Sesuatu

Cara memulai adalah dengan berhenti berbicara dan mulai melakukan.
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.
~ Walt Disney

Memberi dan Menerima

Mereka yang dapat memberi tanpa mengingat, dan menerima tanpa melupakan akan diberkati.
Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.
~ Author Unknown

Syarat Syarat Untuk Rasa Kesyukuran Memberi Impak Di Dalam Jiwa

Di bawah ini ialah 2 syarat bagi senarai rasa syukur memberi impak di hati kita:

1.Kedamaian

2.Kemaafan.

Latih diri untuk bertenang-tenang selalu. Kelam-kabut serta gusar ialah keperibadian negatif oleh sebab ia dikaitkan dengan sifat syaitan. Kedamaian serta ketenangan hati ialah keperibadian positif kerana ia dikaitkan bersama keperibadian malaikat juga keperibadian manusia soleh.

Bila kita duduk, berdiri, berbaring, memandu, buat sesuatu tugas atau tengah bersantai-santai di hadapan tv, cuba lakukan sambil bertenang iaitu bersama relakskan diri. Jika kita sudah merasa relaks, berusaha bagi rasa lenih relaks, sesudah itu lebih relaks lagi dari yang tadi.

Elak sikap suka menyindir serta sikap melepas geram (atau berasa tak puas hati) melalui sindiran boleh menghapuskan rasa kegirangan kita, umpama nila setitik hancur santan sebelanga. Setiap kali kita membina Senarai Rasa syukur atau Nota Terima Kasih, ia tak akan menghasilkan impak apa-apa di jiwa, kesyukuran yang Anda ucap bagai terhalang-halang jadinya.

Maafkan kesalahan orang lain pada Anda. Maafkan, lupakan, permit it to pass!. Merasa rasa marah ibarat batu besar yang tidak berhenti jatuh suatu persatu daripada atas bila mendaki ke puncak bukit. Pilihlah untuk menjadi insan pemaaf sebab kita akan jadi lebih bahagia, lebih gembira. Syaratnya, jangan teringatkan selalu hal-hal menyakitkan hati, tapi kenang sentiasa hal-hal yang Anda syukuri kemudian lafazkan ‘terima kasih yang Maha Esa’. Hati banyak suka, tak gitu?

Tiga Cara Bagaimana Memberi Tindakbalas Terhadap Kritikan

Komen selalunya negatif hanya bagi membetulkan kesalahan kita. Terdapat juga kritikan dibuat untuk menjatuhkan kita. Dalam situasi lain, seseorang mengkritik kita bersama kata-kata kesat hanya untuk merosakkan nama kita di khalayak ramai. Kalau kita dikritik, apa yang seeloknya perlu dibuat supaya kita terus bermotivasi?

Berikut adalah tiga langkah bagaimana untuk memberi tindakbalas positif pada komen-komen negatif.

1. Maafkan Si Pengkritik Dan Maafkan Kata-katanya.

Kemaafan adalah kaedah paling penting untuk menjadikan kita berani pada tahap tinggi meskipun di kritik hebat. Jangan ingat percakapan yang mengkritik kita, anggap ia sebagai suatu panduan sahaja, lepas tu jangan dikenang. Jadikan komen seumpama kaedah kita mempelajari sesuatu. Katakan itu bukan kritikan, tapi kaedah untuk mengajar kita lakukan perkara yang betul. Maafkan si pengkritik. Menyimpan  rasa marah terhadapnya hanya akan membuat kita tak bermotivasi.

2. Diam Dan Aman Saat Di Kritik.

Jangan berpeluk tubuh waktu di kritik. Pamerkan air muka aman, walaupun ketika itu hati kita marah, panas sebab dikritik, telinga kita pedas mendengar suara si pengkritik. Turunkan ego kita. Pakai mind-set pelajari daripada kehidupan sepanjang masa untuk menjadi manusia lebih baik. Untuk kita kekal bersemangat, kita perlu berfikiran positif dan bersangka baik sepanjang masa. Anggap kritikan cara untuk memberitahu kita bahawa perbuatan kita salah, hingga tak memenuhi piawaian. Tekad untuk berbuat lebih baik lagi di lain kali, Ketika terdapat ruang.

3. Sembunyikan kekuatan, Pamerkan Kemampuan Bertukar Perbaiki Diri.

Sehebat manapun kita, elak untuk merasa ujub ataupun rasa diri kita lebih bagus dari manusia lain. Sorokkan kehebatan. Pamerkan kesanggupan memajukan diri menggunakan perubahan berterusan. Latih diri kita jadi bertambah baik dari  satu hari ke  satu hari! Belajar cara yang betul, kemudian buat.  Jangan memajukan diri hanya mahu mengalahkan si pengkritik namun majukanlah diri supaya kita berpuas hati dengan apa yang kita berjaya capai. Oleh tu, kita akan tabah mencapai suatu tahap pencapaian lebih tinggi. Jika kita mahu berjaya hanya oleh sebab mahu kalahkan si pengkritik, kita akan sakit hati Ketika dia bertambah maju. kita tidak akan tabah kerana kita berasa iri hati, dengki dan tidak seronok bersama kemajuannya. Kaedah paling bagus adalah set impian bagi diri sendiri kemudian dapatkan impian itu! Mindset persaingan membunuh semangat. Mind-set berusaha memperoleh impian menyuburkan semangat. kita akan sentiasa bermotivasi.

Self Improvement - Motivation Sometimes Comes From the Most Unlikely Sources

In 1997, Michael Dell of Dell Computers publicly stated that the best thing Apple computers could do to avoid financial failure was to dissolve the company and return the money to the shareholders. Obviously, Steve Jobs saved that message because on Friday 13th, 2006, Mr. Jobs sent an email to all employees sharing how Apple's shares are now worth more than Dell's. (Source: New York Times, John Markoff)
The best thing that happened to Apple in the 1997 outside of rehiring its founder was the gauntlet that Dell threw at the feet of Steve Jobs. Coming in as CEO, Jobs had an enormous challenge, but he and his team persevered and accomplished what many in the industry thought impossible.
Motivation is a tricky thing. By its definition, motivate means an inner drive. Yet, so much can quench that inward movement from existing belief systems to outside external forces. To keep that flame of motivation burning brightly within every individual is an ongoing challenge. Occasionally, we may have unintentional help from outside sources as in the case of Mr. Dell's remarks.
How many times have you been ready to quit, give up and then someone throws a personal challenge or a gauntlet at your feet? All of the sudden you realize that only difference between can't and can is one simple apostrophe and the letter t. Your thoughts are now full of positive energy that is pumping throughout your body. The childhood story of the Little Red Engine becomes your personal mantra, "Yes, I can, Yes, I can..." Success is now so much more real.
Who knows whether Apple would have surpassed Dell without the false prediction of Michael Dell? What I do know that in working with my small business coaching clients is that everyone can benefit from the likes of those who believe that they can foretell the future. For we all know the future is what we make it to be and not what someone wants it to be.







What is motivating you to be to where you want to be. The M.A.P. for Success, a FREE email course may help you begin to chart a course of business, professional or personal success. Visit http://www.processspecialist.com/action-plan.htm.
Do you need more motivation? Then check out the success coaching gym.
Leanne Hoagland-Smith, chief customer officer, helps organizations through business training coaching services to return to the purpose of business that being building ravings fans while increasing productivity and profitability. With offices in Chicago, Indianapolis and colleagues nationwide, she can help you become the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits. Call 219.759.5601 to schedule a free business coaching consultation.

Pikiran Ibarat Parasut

Pikiran kita ibarat parasut, hanya berfungsi ketika terbuka.
Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.
~ Thomas Dewar

Self Improvement Month - Is It True That There Is Something Called A Self-Improvement Month?

If we try to find out of all the months which is best for self improvement, the answer is the month of November. It is believed by many as the month of self improvement. It is also believed to be the best time to engage in different types of works which would help us improve over all as a person, for example registering for writing or for the personality enhancement classes, learning a different hobby or learning about arts and craft, reading books, watching educational and inspiring shows or going for a vacation with the family to spend time with them.
The confusion lies in, is there really something like self improvement month? For those whose answer is in affirmative, it certainly is the month of November.
Going at a deeper level, actually every month should be for self improvement and improvement of anyone should not be confined to time and period rather whenever the need for improvement is felt, the person should work on it head on. Anytime is the best time for improvement and improvement doesn't depend on any particular time of the day, week, month or year rather every second and minute is right for improvement.
Man is bestowed with intellect, that's why man is above all creations of God. Man is superior to all beings. Therefore we must improve every single day and use our intellect and energy towards improvement. Keeping all such endeavors for a single month amounts to limiting ourselves, which is an insult to us and our abilities.
Since its been ruled out now about a particular month being best for our improvement, so we must focus our mind on improving ourselves and our surroundings. How do we so this? Change is of various types, whether we should opt for physical change, emotional change, improving skills or psychological change or anything else that we would want to change to improve. Whatever one decides, they should stick to it and make it take shape.
Do you want to manage stress? Read articles to get information regarding its management or take part in a stress management program .Do you want to learn knitting or the way a basket is woven, once you have decided, just do it. Nothing can stop you from doing only if you make up your mind to do it. Have you desired to go for surfing, then go for it, and do it now, what should you wait for to do so?
Don't prepare to live just live the life you have always wanted to, and the best way you have ever wanted to. This builds self confidence in people and guides them to more fruitful life and these people engage in things which would eventually take them to fulfill what they always dreamt about and always have been wanting. To live a life more fulfilling and satisfying should be enough to motivate you.







Abhishek is a self-proclaimed Personality Development Guru and has written several books on this topic! Visit his website www.Positive-You.com and Download his FREE Personality Development Report and discover some amazing self-improvement tips for FREE. Become the best you can become and reclaim your life! But hurry, only limited Free copies available! www.Positive-You.com

Why You're Getting Absolutely Nowhere in Your Self Improvement Path - Part 1

I remember it clearly as if it were yesterday...
It was in the early 2000s, in the month of November, on a sunny afternoon. (I know, how cliche, but it really was sunny that afternoon.)
It was a really strange time of my life because I wasn't working, having left the only "real job" of my adult life almost a year earlier. Well, I was sort of working with some startup that had big dreams, but I wasn't getting paid for it, and frankly, I was just going through the motions with it and with life as a whole. I really had no drive to do anything, no motivation, nothing whatsoever. Of course I would've "liked" to have the symbols of success (nice care, nice pad, money, etc.) if they were bestowed to me by some benevolent "genie", but really, that obviously wasn't happening. Not only did I NOT have the desire or the motivation to pursue these things, but honestly, I didn't think I had the capability of attaining them either if I were to pursue them.
Now, of course I know that the pursuit of material things is a road to nowhere, but really, if I had been pursuing these things, at least I would've been passionate about SOMETHING, and have been moving in SOME direction. In my case, I was just standing still doing nothing.
The thing was, I wasn't lazy, nor was I depressed. I was just simply devoid of any desire for anything in life. I just didn't care. I was bereft of any inspiration to do anything at all.
Was I happy?
Well...would you be if you were living like this? I think we both know the answer.
Deep down I knew there was something wrong considering the fact I hadn't always been like this. The thing was, on the surface I thought that me being devoid of any ambition or any desire was the right, spiritual way to be, but it fought with every nuance of my being on a deeper level, i.e. it sucked to be me.
I think Thoreau coined my condition best: "quiet desperation."
So, there I was, on this particular November afternoon, stopping in front of a bookstore that had a table display of books, when one in particular piqued my curiosity due to the title, so I picked it up in order to check it out.
I glance through the book and its subject matter seemed interesting enough, but I didn't feel a need to buy it. However, over the next few days, for some reason, my mind kept on going back to that book, though I didn't even remember the name, so the next time I passed by the bookstore, I bought the book.
And you know what? The book changed my life...
The name? "Think and Grow Rich," by Napoleon Hill, a book about the principles of success. Well actually, it was another version of the book, "Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice" by Dennis Kimbro, but reading that prompted me to possessedly go and buy the original version by Napoleon Hill. Needless to say, these two books single handedly gave me back something I hadn't felt in several years: my inspiration in life to be successful and do something great on this earth.
In addition to re-kindling my desire to be successful, after reading these books over and over, and over again, I realized something else: I had a pitifully LOW self-esteem.
Low self esteem is funny, because most people who have it don't know they have it and would never admit to it. If someone who was able to notice low self esteem in another person and pointed it out to him, he (or she) would either deny it or get very defensive. This is because people are very good at hiding their low self esteem from themselves through innumerable avenues, some of which include, erecting walls of materialism, bravado, or by simply just being an out and out asshole to the entire world.
I was no different.
It was when I learned this that I can say that I officially started my path of "self improvement" and self discovery. (There's a reason why I put "self improvement" in quotes, stay tuned). I hit the ground running and threw myself into the whole process headfirst. My burning desire was to become a better person, raise my self esteem, and become a confident person that was secure with himself.
The Desert Years
Now, this is where I wish I could tell my happy ending, where I acquire unstoppable confidence, strike it filthy rich a few years later and fly off in my pink unicorn to my mansion on top of a hill at the end of the rainbow, where I sip glasses of Cristal and party nightly with the likes of Diddy and Naomi Campbell.
Nope. Definitely not with me.
Instead, I entered into another "desert" period in my life that lasted five years. It was a period where I experienced very little if any growth whatsoever. Instead I went around in circles, reading book, after book after book, going to different seminars, visiting a hypnotist, talking to coaches, listening to CD after CD, etc, all in the hopes of finding that magic pill, that one marvelous distinction that would enable me to finally let go of my negative beliefs, show me how to get over the past, and show me how to be a better person.
I remember buying book after book, hoping that each book would be "the one" that would give me that magical insight that would change my life. I would read each book accompanied with a "trusty" highlighter pen, highlighting everything I found insightful in the book, hoping that somehow these words would seep into my consciousness and help change me.
Sadly, that didn't happen. All I'd get was a dry highlighter pen, but no real personal growth. I instead become a walking "self help" encyclopedia, full of inspirational quotes that made me look all positive and enlightened. I probably was able to recite to you on command, page 73 of every book I read, that's how into "improving myself" I was.
As I read more and more books, I'd feel more "enlightened" and "knowledgeable", but at times, I'd have a somber moment where I'd say to myself, "you have all this knowledge, you've read all these books, but where's the REAL growth?" I'd ponder this briefly and then think, "Oh well, on to the next book!" and sweep the one insight that I TRULY needed to pay attention to under the rug.
I was lost.
I remember taking the Landmark Forum and its follow-up course, "The Advanced Seminar." I thought that now surely this was the place that would make me transform. After all, before I even took these courses I heard of some miraculous stories of the breakthroughs and transformations people received. As a matter of fact, upon taking these two courses. I did receive some tremendous insights, and I did see some people make some incredible remarkable change, but at the end of the day, I was thinking, "how 'bout me?"
I had more knowledge, more insight, but I still felt TERRIBLY lacking.
"Why can't I change?"
"When am I going to get rid of this horrible feeling of inadequacy I have?"
I would ask these questions to myself over and over again, after the next, best self-help tool I discovered out there that I hoped would empower me to become a better person wound up getting me nowhere. I went to a hypnotist, hoping she would be able to hypnotize me to be a confident person....that didn't' work. In fact in retrospect, I just think she was a sucky hypnotist (no offense to her). The only "improvement" I got from her was a lesson of not to EVER waste my money or time with her again.
I talked to several coaches...nothing. In fact, one got so frustrated with me he almost kicked me out of his coaching group.
It's funny, because during this period, I remember talking to a guy in my gym who I have to say, was a complete mess. He would complain to me over and over again about his girlfriend and how he didn't trust her. The obvious solution to his "problem" that I would explain to him was to leave her, but he'd have a barrel of excuses of why he couldn't do that. Yet, what surprised me was that he was an avid reader of self-help books, just like me, having ready many of the ones I had. He in fact bragged that he had a whole suitcase full of these books. I thought to myself in utter disgust, "Is this guy serious? Why is this guy such a debacle if he is supposed to have read all these books?"
The truth of the matter was that I really was no different myself. The reason why I was able to see that this guy was a debacle was because I was only seeing a reflection of myself in him. I, despite having read all these books was quite a debacle myself. I was pointing at him, but four fingers were pointing right back at me. I just didn't see it.
I really, really, really wanted to change. The coaches at the seminars I attended were able to sense my desperation. I had all this negative self-talk going on inside my head, and I wanted to get rid of it. I had this deep feeling of inadequacy, and I wanted get rid of that. I lacked confidence, and I wanted to gain it. I felt as if I had been a horrible, inconsiderate, insensitive bastard in the past, and I wanted to become a good person that people would be able to look up to. I wanted to learn how to stop clinging to my past and be able to let go.
What was frustrating was that during this period, I had read and heard stories about people who credited a certain book, seminar or encounter with someone for giving them some insight that changed the entire way they perceived themselves and the world. They would note that it was this "shift" in perception they received that enabled them to transform from insecure, "bad", unsuccessful people to happy, confident and successful.
I was looking for something that would do similar for me and fix all these "horrible" things I had. Yet, in all my five years of "self improvement", the only major change that had come in me was after I first read "Think and Grow Rich," which I wouldn't even count because it was what first got me on my path. So in actuality, in five years, I had really gotten nowhere.
Oddly enough, I was somehow able to fool myself that I was "changing" because I was reading all these books and gaining all these "wonderful" insights.
Yet funny how these "insights" brought absolutely no real improvement to the quality of my life, nor did they improve my self esteem in any way. I was the same old me who started the journey five years earlier covered with a thin veneer of knowledge from a bunch of self-help books and quotes spouted by famous people.
I was a mess.
I liken this period of my life to the Biblical story of the Israelites wandering the wilderness for forty years without entering the "Promised Land." They just tread the same ground over and over and over again for forty years.
I too was in the wilderness because I was in a place that was bearing no type of fruit. I just thank God it was five years, not forty.
Something had to give.
My "Deliverance"
So, 2005 comes along.
In the very beginning of this year, two significant things happen.
The first thing was when a cousin of mine came to my house for the first time and stayed for a few days. Upon looking at my bookshelf and seeing all these self help books, he comes to me and asks me, "Why are you looking for something you already have?"
That question struck me because it was told to me several years before. I didn't get it when it was first told to me, and I didn't get it when my cousin said it. However, now, these words struck me in a different way. I figured that since I was hearing these words for a second time, there must have been a message in there for me. I started to let them marinate in my spirit so I could find learn the message that they carried.
The second event was that I could sense that God was speaking to my heart trying to tell me something.
That "something" was Him telling me not to hang out with my childhood friends for the whole of 2005.
See, these childhood friends of mine have been my "family" for almost my entire life. They had also been a foundation of security for me most of my life, because I felt that no matter what I went through socially, they would always be there. The insight that God was giving me was that by not hanging out with them for an entire year, I will start to develop that foundation within myself. Also, being absent of their "influence" will help me start to see an aspect of myself that I previously wasn't aware of.
That's similar to the scenario of a tree bent in a certain way would grow in a certain way, however, if you unbend it, it would grow in a different direction.
This was a PROFOUND insight that I definitely could not have thought of on my own. It was completely out of the box of my reality.
Me, looking desperately for answers, saw no choice but to listen.
So to my childhood friends who are reading this, if you've been wondering why I wasn't around for all of '05 and making "excuses" why I couldn't hang out, (if you remember or even care), this was the reason. It was all for self discovery purposes, nothing personal. You guys may find it "weird", but I've come to accept the fact that I'm just not a normal person. Also, if you do find it weird, I retort with my oft repeated phrase that you know very well, "your opinion means absolutely nothing to me."
Either way, I digress.
So, getting back to 2005, it was a year like every other of the previous four years: going to seminars, reading book after book, having all these wonderful insights making me believe that I was enlightened, all coupled with the frustration of being in my own way. I think you get the picture.
However, come the last two months of that year, November and December, I received two MAJOR insights, one insight for each month, that unlike all the countless other "insights" I received, were the ones that were to lead me out of the wilderness.
The first one I'm not going to get into, as it I another topic for another blog. Also, it really didn't have an immediate effect on my life as did the second, which began to change things immediately.
The second insight is the topic of this blog.
It was late in December, a couple of days after Christmas. I was talking to my mom in her room while she was watching TV. In the conversation, she mentions to me that she had a deep conversation with my brother and the subject was yours truly.
She mentioned that my brother was complaining, added to the complaint of my other siblings that I was emotionally unavailable and even though he tried to communicate with me on a deeper level, I wouldn't let him in and kept him at arm length.
The news of this didn't shock me because my siblings had complained about this before. I knew that ever since my childhood that I had always been emotionally distant from my siblings and never really attempted to foster a close relationship with any of them. As I had "matured", I knew this wasn't a good thing, and I felt that by becoming a better person through my "self improvement", this would somehow remedy itself.
Upon hearing this, I told my mom that I was trying to change, and that I had been reading a lot of self improvement books and going to seminars for a number of years, and the insights I had received had helped me to grow.
I then asked her a crucial question, "Haven't you noticed any change in me?"
To this she responded that she didn't see too much of me because she left for work before me and I usually returned home from work late, and at that time she was already in bed, so she really couldn't tell if I had many any change at all.
All of sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had been doing this whole self improvement "thing" to please my mother.
Why does that insight even matter?
Well let me take you back a few years to my childhood. When I was growing up, my father was the strict disciplinarian in the house, and coupled with that, he wasn't always an easy person to deal with. From a young age, he came down very hard on me and the older of my two sisters, and so, we were dependent on our mother for refuge.
Because of all this, it can be easy to see how my father became the "bad guy" and my mother was the "good guy". My father was the one associated with having a bad temper, being impatient, angry, etc, and my mother was associated with being loving, caring, patient, nurturing, etc. Thus, compared to our younger two siblings, it became important for me and the older of my two sisters to stay on our mother's "good side" because if we didn't, we would be at the mercy to the whims of our father.
Furthermore, as a child, I had a very bad temper, and was prone to throwing huge temper tantrums. When I would do this, my mom would say to me disapprovingly, "You're just like your father."
Well, of course, it sucked to hear that, because I didn't want to be like my father, I wanted to be like my mother. My mom knew this, and over the years, she would play the manipulation game whenever she and I would have a disagreement by hanging over my head the comment, "You're just like HIM."
This had the effect of immediately putting me on the defensive or shutting me up. Either way, it gave my mom a "power" over me. It made me want to be more like her, and since she became the "measuring stick" of who to be like in my house, it also made me believe all the other negative labels she had placed on me.
Thus, over the years, I would develop this persistent fear that I was going to turn out just like my father. One of the main reasons for embarking on the path of self improvement was to "finally address" this issue of me being this horrible person in the past and become a person who my mother could look at proudly and say, "Wow, you're totally different from your father. You're more like me."
This was the reason why I had gotten absolutely nowhere in five years of "self improvement." I had talked a big game of wanting to become a better, more positive person, improve my self esteem, etc, but in actuality all I wanted was approval from my mother.
I remember watching those Warner Brothers or Hanna Barbera cartoons as a little kid where some cat (Tom or Sylvester) would be trying to chase a little bird to eat, but their efforts were always thwarted by the big mother hen or some other guardian that watched over the little chick. So, to fool whoever was protecting the chick, the cat would disguise himself as a bird. However, the plan would always fail because although the cat was dressed as a bird, in one way or another, his nature of being a cat would always rise to the surface (e.g. trying to eat the little chick.)
This was similar to my quest for self improvement. On the surface, I was saying I wanted to become a better person, improve my self esteem, etc, but below that something else was going on.
You see, when I made the decision of improving myself, I was riddled with guilt for who I was up until that point for not naturally being able to display the "characteristics" of my mother. I felt guilty for being such a rude, inconsiderate, selfish, impatient bastard in my past, and because I felt I really couldn't be trusted with my own self improvement, I looked to others who accused me of these things in the past, as well as my mom as indicators of whether I was changing or not. Thus, the more pleasing I was to others, the happier I was because it meant I was changing. However, if I did something to step on another person's toes, I would be depressed that I was failing in my quest to become a better person.
To add to that, I also tried to be overly pleasing to women, which meant walking on egg shells around them because afraid to say the wrong thing, seeking their approval, and putting up with disrespect that I had no business putting up with. I figured by gaining the approval of women, it would mean that I was different from my father, which would gain me the prize of my mother's approval.
In any case, this all gave me a resentment towards women and my mother, because I gave them power over me to control my mental well being. What made me more resentful was that I wasn't getting their approval back in return.
All who are reading this may be able to take a "wild guess" as to how my dating life was.
If a person were to take a good look at my quest for self improvement, they would see me constantly beating myself for not being a good person, me beating myself up for days on end for lapsing into the "old me", me trying to acquire "knowledge" so as to impress people into believing I was a "good person", me being so stiff and stifled because I couldn't trust myself to be "free" because I might mess up, me being terrified of receiving someone's disapproval because then it meant that I really hadn't changed.
My goodness, it's a miracle that I didn't leap from a window or go postal.
I remember reading a quote during my years in the wilderness that went something like this (I don't remember it verbatim), "Change produced by hate can never produce love."
Oh yes, I definitely hated myself.
Now, let me ask you, does all this sound like self improvement to you?
Now you can see why I put "self improvement" in quotes. Clearly, I wasn't improving myself. All I was doing was seeking an affirmation that I wasn't a bad person while beating myself up along the way.
The thing was, I really didn't know I was doing all this.
It was as if I were setting out from a journey to Chicago from New York with a map of Detroit, complaining the whole time why I wasn't getting any closer to Chicago or why where I was winding up didn't resemble Chicago at all.
That revealing conversation with my mom made me realize I was looking at the wrong map.....DOH!
At least now with the right map, I could get an inkling of where I needed to go.
I would also like to add that had I not followed Divine guidance and taken time away from my friends, I probably wouldn't have gotten this revelation. Taking time away from the people that I had been around all my life allowed me to gain a different perspective of myself that made it ripe for me to receive the breakthrough I did.
Obedience to Divine guidance pays!
When I got this breakthrough, I was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief because a big burden was lifted off my back. I now was able to see that I had a lot of guilt in being a man instilled in me by society, my family and the Church, and I read some very interesting books that helped strip away a lot of that guilt. I also now began the painstaking process of untangling myself from approval seeking (which I might add is still going on up till now).
I also cut down considerably on the amount of self improvement books I read. The urgent need that I had once felt to read every self improvement book in sight left me.
Finally, the REAL self improvement process had begun. It was as if God had said to me, "Now you're ready for Me to deal with you." He now was in the driver's seat.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, I still don't have the pink unicorn or the mansion on the hill. In fact, if you might be thinking that my life got any "easier", I'm here to tell you that it didn't. Straight from the desert, I had a brief respite before I was led into "purgatory", (though it still felt like hell). This period lasted for another three and a half years where my life actually got harder. However, this served to be a cleansing period where, unlike the previous five years, I experienced a lot of growth, though I must admit, I didn't care too much for many of the experiences I had that forced me to grow.
Hey, you know the saying, "be careful what you wish for, you might just get it." Boy did I get it.
Hope this helps,
IKE LOVE







Click here to read Part 2 of "Why You're Getting Absolutely NOWHERE in Your Self Improvement Path."
My name is Ike Love, creator of the inspirational concept, The Viable Alternative. To read more about this concept, check out my blog at http://www.theviablealternative.com, where you can receive more powerful tools to help you on your path of self improvement and self discovery.